Well I started my IVF journey yesterday. I have been looking forward to this for awhile now, sad it will not go as planned but am glad I am getting the opportunity to freeze embryos before getting started on my treatment. Just praying this process goes smoothly and that we get some beautiful embryos at the end. The whole process takes about a month. I scheuled my PET scan for Sept 25 and will see my oncologist that afternoon, go over my stage and hopefully get my treatment plan. I have been feeling good and trying to stay busy. I know this next month is going to fly. Update yall later!

So today I meet with my new oncologist down at big Baylor. What a difference! Everyone there was so welcoming and wonderful. I met my oncologist's nurse who I have spoke on the phone a few times, she welcomed me with a hug. I love her! Nurses really make such the difference:) My onocologist was very knowledgeable, he spent over a hour with us going over everything. Like the other oncologist said, we have to stage it first. So I did the bone marrow biopsy today (they do that to see if it has spread to the bone marrow). It was not pleasant. Ladies if you have had an epidural it is like that but way worst. Those results come back in 7-10 days. My oncologist said that should hopefully be the only one I need. Whew, thank God thats over. Next we have to do a PET scan. So will schedule that in the next few weeks. So the best news, my oncologist said I should absolutely do embryo freezing. Thank you Lord! Since I am not symptomatic and my labs, complete blood count and comprehensive metobolic panel are great we could wait. Like he said I have had this since January or longer whats another month. So well get that going next week:) Once we get the results we will decide treatment. He said more than likely it will be CHOP-R and depending on stage might add another med. Another piece of info he said I thought was interesting is, commonly after treatment it is most likely to occur within that next year to two years, two to five not as common to come back and five year mark I get to fire my oncologist:) cancer free woohoo! So hoping the next month flies and treatment begins and then put this behind me. Again thank you everyone for being so supportive! I feel very loved:)

How this began

Back in January 2012 I noticed a 3 cm (yes as a Labor and Delivery nurse we measure everything in cm)  lymph node on the left side of my neck. I went to my physician and she told me not to worry and to watch it. So time went on and in March my whole family got pink eye, so I saw another doctor because mine was out of town and he too told me to continue to watch it. Another month went by and I decided it was odd that it was still there and went back into see my physician. She then referred me to an ENT. I went to see my ENT, he had told me he thought it was a lymph node that had died and was not worried about it, but decided to put me on Prednisone to see if we could get rid of it. So I took Prednisone and of course it decreased in size a bit but was still there. At my follow up appointment with him he continued to say he was not worried about it and to watch it and if it was still there over the month or two we could do a CAT scan. Meanwhile Ryan and I were looking into starting an IVF in August, so with it fastly approaching I wanted answers before starting that journey. So beginning of June, which was a month later from seeing my ENT, I called my ENTs office and said I want a CAT scan done. We scheduled it and got it done, results came back and again my ENT said it was encapselated and he thought it was a dead lymph node. He did decided I should get a biopsy. During my biopsy the physican had said usually lymph nodes like this are lymphoma but he said you are too young and while doing the biospy said it looked like dead tissue and not to worry. My ENTs office called me the following Monday and asked me to come in that day. Colton was not feeling well so I asked if I could come in later in the week ( I was sure it was nothing) the receptionist proceeded to say this can not wait you need to come in today. Right then I knew something was wrong. So went to my appointment and my ENT said they saw some abnormal cells that it was possible lymphoma. He told me I needed to get it removed and they could further biopsy it. I scheduled my surgery for the following Wednesday. My surgery went well, he did do a larger incision then anticipated, the mass was the size of a golf ball. Recovery went well, it worked out perfectly Ryan was off due to starting a new job. Let me just mention how amazing my husband is, I truely am blessed. It was the longest weekend awaiting for the results. That Monday our fridge had decided to be retarted so we ended up having to take everything out and put stuff in our garage fridge. While I was out in the garage I came inside and heard Ryan on the phone asking "will she need chemo." My heart sank I then new my life was going to change. Ryan got off the phone, hugged me and told me I had lymphoma. It was the worst day of my life. Even though this has been so devestating, I thank God for all the love and support I have recieved. He really put some amazing people in my life. Each one of you mean so much to me and I can not express how thankful I am for you. Ryan- you are just amazing! Thank you for being my rock, I could not ask for anything more. I love you so much! Colton- you are my little angel. You constantly bring a smile to my face. I love your snuggles and sweet kisses. God new what he was doing putting you into my life. Thank you Lord! I know I can get through this because of all the wonderful people I am surrounded by and because I have a beautiful life to live.

The start of my journey

So after, finding out I had lymphoma my ENT referred me to an oncologist. Ryan, my parents and I went and to be honest it was the worst place I have ever been to. Everyone there was elderly I did not see one person even close to my age, it was very depressing. But, I tried to stay positive and meet the oncologist. He was very knowledgable and very thorrow in his explaination. So the diagnosis, Nonhodgkins Lymphoma Diffuse Large B Cell- thats a name. What the heck is that- he said that your lymph system is made up of B cells and T cells. B cells make up antigens to fight infection and the T cells are the killer cells. So I have an abundance of B cells within my system and as of now all we know were accumulated in that one lymph node.  He asked if I had any of the symptoms that are normally associated with lymphoma: weight loss- I wish:), night sweats- no and fever-no. So next he wanted to stage it. Doing that consists of a PET scan (a glucose based dye I drink and they scan to see if there is any more masses) and a bone marrow biopsy, to make sure it has not migrated there. He told me that if your going to get cancer this is the one to have. It is treatable:) He told me my treatment is CHOP-R- my goodness- all I have figured out of that is the P is prednisone and R is rituxan the chemo I will be on. I suppose I will figure the rest out after my staging or on google:) I have to have a port place- that was not what i wanted to hear but makes since, all my blood draws and chemo will be done there. So the big question I had was getting an egg retrieval and freezing embryos before starting chemo. Lots of stuff on the internet about fertility after chemo is wishy washy but many forums i have read women have frozen embryos before chemo. My oncologist was not warm and fuzzy about this question. But finally thought for a moment and said if it was a low stage we could if not NO. Ok I will take it. I scheduled my PET scan and bone marrow biopsy before leaving for this week. After leaving the facility I felt very uneasy I liked the oncologist but never wanted to walk into that place again. I also realized if I needed medcial care my oncologist bases out of Medical Center of McKinney- um scary. I would not send my worst enemy there. Now what to do I dont know any one who works in the oncology field. So my sweet little friend, Jenny  (your in my blog;) ), her friends mother works in oncology and recommended me to a oncologist at big Baylor at the Sammons Cancer Center. Supposably thats the place in Dallas where you need to go if you have cancer. They have a cancer specified hospital if I have any complications and I hear the staff is wonderful. Thank God a ray of hope:) I spoke with his nurse today and she seems wonderful. I have an appointment with them this Friday and will wait to do all my testing with them. I did ask her about what to do about egg retrieval, because the whole process is supposed to begin next week and she told me that it should not be a problem- the best news I have heard, many happy tears. So thats where I am at. Again thanks everyone for the wonderful support. Love yall so much!!!